Ask better questions

In this lesson: why open questions give better readings, how to rephrase yes or no questions and which questions to leave out.

The question you ask shapes the whole reading. A vague or fearful question gives you a vague or fearful reading. A clear, open question gives you something you can actually use. Learning to ask well is the single fastest way to improve as a reader, and it costs nothing but a minute of thought before you shuffle.

Open questions beat yes or no

Compare “Will I get the job?” with “What do I need to know about this job application?” The first asks the cards for a verdict they cannot give. If you draw the Five of Pentacles, does that mean no? Forever? The second question asks the cards to show you something useful. The same Five of Pentacles might now point to a worry about money that is making you sound anxious, or to a need to ask for support while you search. Open questions usually produce richer readings, because they leave room for the picture to speak.

Good open questions usually start with “what” or “how”. “What helps me with this?” “What is mine to do next?” “How can I approach this conversation?” These keep the reading pointed at choices you can make.

Keep yourself at the center

Questions about other people’s private minds ask you to invent things you cannot know. “Does he love me?” or “What is she thinking?” put all the power outside you. Turn them around so you stay the decision-maker. “Does he love me?” becomes “What do I need in this relationship?” “Is my partner cheating?” becomes “What do I need to feel safe and honest in this relationship?” “Will they call me?” becomes “How can I take care of myself while I wait?” These versions are not a consolation prize. They are the questions you can actually do something with.

Questions to reshape before you ask

Some questions invite fear more than insight, especially questions about health, death, the law and money. Do not ask these as yes or no. Reshape them into what you can hold and do.

• “Will the surgery go well?” becomes “What support do I need while I wait for medical answers?”
• “When will someone die?” becomes “What do I need to stay present with grief or fear right now?”
• “Will I win the lawsuit?” becomes “What is within my control as this process unfolds?”
• “Should I stop my medication?” becomes “What support do I need so treatment decisions stay with my doctor and me?”

No card predicts that someone will die. If a question is about health, law or money, the professionals hold the answers. The cards can help with how you feel and what you do next.

Five questions, reshaped

Seeing many examples is the fastest way to learn this skill. Here are five common questions and a better version of each.

“Will I get the job?” becomes “What can I do to give my best in this application?” “Does he love me?” becomes “What do I need to understand about how I feel in this relationship?” “Will my sister forgive me?” becomes “How can I approach my sister with care?” “Should I move to another city?” becomes “What should I consider as I think about moving?” “Is something bad going to happen?” becomes “What would help me feel steadier this week?” Notice the pattern: each new question is open, keeps you at the center and points toward something you can do.

Question stems to keep

A few opening phrases do most of the work. Copy them into your notebook: “What do I need to know about…”, “How can I…”, “What is helping and what is blocking…”, “What might I be overlooking in…”, “What would support me as I…” and “What is the lesson in…”. If you get stuck, start with one of these and add your situation.

Make it the right size, and write it down

One card is enough for a focused daily question. A bigger, layered situation might need three or five cards. Match the size of the spread to the size of the question. You do not prove you are serious by using ten cards. Before you shuffle, write the question in your notebook. It keeps you honest, and later you can watch your questions change as you grow.

An example: from worry to plan

Imagine someone whose landlord has sent a note about a rent increase. Her first question is, “Will I have to move?” She notices it is a yes or no question about a future she cannot control, and rewrites it: “What do I need to know to make a good decision about my home?”

She draws three cards and gets the Four of Pentacles, the Page of Swords and the Six of Pentacles. With the open question, they fall into a plan: she is holding on tightly out of fear, she needs information before she decides, and there may be fair help or negotiation available. None of that would have fitted a yes or no.

Why good questions help, beyond tarot

Modern Coaches and therapists use open questions for the same reason tarot readers do: they invite reflection instead of a yes or no. Research on goal setting also suggests that turning a vague worry into a specific plan helps people act. The psychologist Peter Gollwitzer has studied “implementation intentions”, plans in the form “when this happens, I will do that”, and found that they make follow-through more likely. A tarot question that ends in “how can I” often leads naturally to such a plan.

A second worked example

Imagine someone whose question is “Will the exam go well?” She reshapes it to “What do I need to focus on in my last week of study?” She draws the Page of Pentacles, a young person studying a coin with care. Her note reads: “Steady, practical study; go back to the basics.” She writes a plan: “When I sit down after dinner, I will do one practice paper.” The card did not tell her the result; it helped her use her week.

How questions looked in 1910

Historical It is interesting to see what kind of questions the older books expected. In The Pictorial Key to the Tarot (1910), Waite introduced his Celtic Cross as “the most suitable for obtaining an answer to a definite question”. His example was: “Will a lawsuit be necessary?” He then offered a second version, “Shall I be successful in my lawsuit?”, and explained that each needed a different card to represent the matter.

Notice that both are closed, prediction-style questions, the kind this lesson encourages you to reshape. Waite’s card meanings fit that style too. Many of them predict marriages, visits, money or losses. That is not a mistake on his part; it reflects what clients of fortune-tellers asked for in his day. Modern reflective reading asks different questions, and the same cards answer them perfectly well.

Try reshaping Waite’s example. “Will a lawsuit be necessary?” could become “What do I need to understand before deciding whether to take legal advice?” The reading then supports a decision you will still make with a real lawyer, which is exactly where tarot belongs.

A question ladder

When a question feels too big, climb down a ladder of three rungs. Start with the big worry: “Will my life ever feel settled?” Step down to a part of it you can look at: “What is unsettling me most at the moment?” Then step down again to something you can act on: “What is one thing I can do this week to feel steadier?”

Each rung is a fine question. The lowest one usually gives the most useful reading, because a single card can answer it clearly. You can always climb back up later, once the smaller question has given you something solid to stand on.

Practice variations

The question journal. For one week, write down every question you are tempted to ask the cards, without drawing for any of them. At the end of the week, pick the best one, reshape it, and only then do a reading. You will notice how many questions were really one worry asked several ways.

Swap questions with a friend. Each of you writes a yes or no question, then you reshape each other’s into an open one. It is much easier to see the hidden question in someone else’s words, and you will both learn quickly.

One word changes. Take an open question and change only one word: “What helps me rest?” becomes “What stops me resting?” Draw a card for each and notice how the change of angle changes what you see.

Checking a question before you draw

Before you shuffle, read your question aloud once. Ask yourself three things. Is it about me? Is it open? Could I act on the answer this week? If all three are yes, you are ready. If not, take one more minute to reshape it. That minute is often worth more than the reading itself.

Questions beginners ask

Can I ask the same question twice? Wait at least a few days, or until something changes. Asking again right away usually means you did not like the answer.

Can I ask about other people? Ask about your side of the relationship. Lesson 2 on consent explains why.

What if I do not know what my question is? Draw one card and ask “What do I most need to think about right now?” The card often shows you the question.

Myths to drop: Yes or no questions are not forbidden, but they are limited. Longer questions are not always better. And a “bad” answer to a good question is still useful.

Try this

Take three questions you would like to ask the cards and rewrite each one as an open question about what you can do. If a question involves another person, put yourself back at the center. Keep the rewritten versions on the first page of your notebook as a reminder.

Recap

Open “what” and “how” questions give richer readings than yes or no. Keep yourself at the center: ask what you need, not what someone else is thinking. Reshape questions about health, death, law and money into questions about support and what is in your control, and leave the answers to professionals. Match the spread to the question, and write the question down before you shuffle.

What next

Press “Mark as done” and continue with When a hard card appears. When you are ready to try a question, the one-card spread is the perfect place.

Further reading: Lauri Mukkala, The Novice’s Guide to Tarot, on framing questions.

Sources

• Lauri Mukkala, The Novice’s Guide to Tarot, “Ask This Instead”.

Go deeper: The Novice's Guide to Tarot: Ask This Instead

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