Ask better questions

The question you ask shapes the whole reading. A vague or fearful question gives you a vague or fearful reading. A clear, open question gives you something you can use.

Open questions beat yes or no

Compare these two:

• “Will I get the job?”
• “What do I need to know about this job application?”

The first asks the cards for a verdict they cannot give. The second asks them to show you something useful, maybe a strength to highlight in the interview, a worry to address or a sign that this job is not the right one. Open questions usually produce richer readings.

Good open questions often start with what or how:

• What helps me with…?
• What do I need to know about…?
• What is mine to do next?
• How can I approach…?

Keep yourself at the center

Questions about other people’s private minds ask you to invent things you cannot know. “Does he love me?” or “What is she thinking?” put the power outside you. Turn them around so you stay the decision-maker:

• “Does he love me?” becomes “What do I need in this relationship?”
• “Is my partner cheating?” becomes “What do I need to feel safe and honest in this relationship?”
• “Will they call me?” becomes “How can I take care of myself while I wait?”

Questions to leave out

Some questions invite fear more than insight. Do not use yes or no on these, and try the open version instead:

• Instead of “Will the surgery go well?”, ask “What support do I need while I wait for medical answers?”
• Instead of “Am I pregnant?”, ask “What care and information do I need while I wait for clinical answers?”
• Instead of “When will someone die?”, ask “What do I need to stay present with grief or fear right now?”
• Instead of “Will I win the lawsuit?”, ask “What is within my control as this process unfolds?”
• Instead of “Should I invest in this?”, ask “What values and practical steps matter for my money decisions?”
• Instead of “Should I stop my medication?”, ask “What support do I need so treatment decisions stay with my doctor and me?”

No card predicts that someone will die. If a question is about health, law or money, the professionals hold the answers. The cards can help you with how you feel and what you do next.

Make it the right size

One card is enough for a focused daily question. A bigger, layered situation might need three or five cards. Match the size of the spread to the size of the question. You do not prove you are serious by using ten cards.

Write it down

Before you shuffle, write your question in your notebook. It keeps you honest, and later you can see how your questions change as you grow.

Try this

Today’s exercise: Take three questions you would like to ask the cards and rewrite each one as an open question about what you can do. Keep it short. Two or three lines in your notebook are enough, and there are no wrong answers. If you like, come back to the page tomorrow and add one more line about anything you noticed in the meantime. Small, regular notes like these are how the cards slowly become familiar.

Quick recap

• Open questions starting with what or how give better readings.
• Keep yourself at the center instead of reading other people’s minds.
• Do not ask the cards about health, death, law or investments.
• Write your question down before you shuffle.

Keep going

When you have done the exercise, press “Mark as done” and continue with the next lesson, When a hard card appears. There is no hurry. If a lesson needs a second day, give it one.

To go deeper, read “Ask This Instead” in the ethics chapter of my book The Novice’s Guide to Tarot.

Need a refresher? Go back to Consent, readiness and confidentiality or see the whole course.

Go deeper: The Novice's Guide to Tarot: Ask This Instead

Mark as done